I Am Curious Yellow

No, sorry, this post is not about a softcore porn film from before you were born. I know, life sucks.

No, this is about the inordinate number of cars and trucks on the road that are yellow.

This seems to have become a trend in about the last five years that there are more and more citizens of this great republic that somehow have come to the erroneous conclusion that a yellow automobile is even marginally cool. Red, black, white, silver, even orange, yes. Could be cool. Yellow not so much.

If you are driving a muscle car like a Ford Mustang and it's yellow, I hope you better not drive it in New York or any other major city because people will assume it's a taxi and will be trying to hail your ass.

If you are driving a large truck and it is yellow, you do not look tough and like you own a construction company, you look like Bob the Builder.

And to those so addled that they have done the interiors of their yellow vehicles in yellow and black, it does not look cool. It looks like your car was decorated by a metrosexual bumblebee who was high on honey-based acid.

Guys, you think you're going to pick up women in a yellow car? What, you think she wants to be seen in a car that should be advertising French's fucking mustard? Unless your name is Oscar Meyer and you have a million dollars, forget it.

What do you people do, pull up to each other at the stoplight, roll down the window and say "Pardon me, I wonder if you could spare some Grey Poupon?"

Ladies, having a yellow vehicle tells a guy you are a Barbie wannabe. And maybe you are. But Ken is gay. And has no sexual organs. So be careful what you wish for.

What are the actual names for these shades of yellow? MusTARD? Mountain Dew? Pissoir?

Stop the madness.